


Casting Call For Good Omens

by Zoya1416



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, casting call, dream actors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 01:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hollywood wants to make Good Omens, at last</p>
            </blockquote>





	Casting Call For Good Omens

**Author's Note:**

> It's all Pratchett/Gaiman's stuff.

Casting for A.Crowley

Johnny Depp  
“Cool! Can I bring my own wigs? No? Do I get to wear wings? Once?  
What's my superpower? Tying up every number in downtown London during lunch hour?...but, but—not naked ladies, or gluttony, or, rage-I've got some GOOD ideas for rage? No? Wellll...only if there's not another Pirates sequel/prequel/alternative universe/musical/ coming soon.

Alan Rickman

No. I've played too many bad guys. And this angel sounds young and energetic. Did you try Johnny Depp?

Matt Damon.  
(bzzz—don't care how tough he was in Bourne, he doesn't LOOK like a bad angel---consider him for Aziraphale.)

Leo?  
As long as he doesn't do that “king of the world!” thing with Aziraphale.  
He wants to donate his salary to his Tiger Charity.  
Fine.  
He wants us to match it.  
No.

Nic Cage?  
Nic wants us to cast Weston instead  
Who? His oldest boy—wears a lot of mascara, into that black metal Goth band stuff—Looks like he could be good  
Can he act?  
Nnnnnn no.

Nic says if he's Crowley, he wants to know if Kal-el (Yes, I know that's Superman's name on his home planet) can be Adam.  
Kal-el? He's eight and has never acted.

George Clooney?  
Robert Downey Jr.---ooooo yes  
sigh, salary too high

 

Mark Feuerstein? Who's that?  
The doctor-to-the-rich on that TV show  
Or....his brother instead, who's kind of doofusie, but could be dark  
Whyyy? Maybe I like the show? Okay, my wife told me to ask.

Hugo Weaving?  
John Lithgow?  
Kevin Spacey?  
Christopher Lee?

Where are you getting these names?? They're all ANCIENT

You GOOGLED “who's the best dark character actor," didn't you?---you're fired.

OKAY—Break.

 

Let's cast Aziraphale—I hear Robin Williams was once sort-of attached.

Quit gagging, that's what I thought, too. Too shticcky.

Viggo Mortensen?  
“Is there a horse involved?!” No. “Can we work in a crown??” No.  
“Evil twins? Can I do it in Spanish?"  
Really appreciate your time.  
(But he's SOOO good looking—I want him! Call him back!)  
Yes, sir.

 

Daniel Radcliffe?---He's gorgeous, but too young.  
Elijah Woods? “same”  
oo—what if we made CROWLEY the older one, and one of the kids  
AZIRAPHALE?  
Okay, work me up a treatment.

Or we could get Cate Blanchett—she was a great Galadriel!  
Galadriel is an elf.  
And Terry said no sex changes.

 

Kenneth Branagh---oooooh, me like  
Denzel---yum--  
Sigh, salary.

Patrick Stewart?--that's X-men, not angel-men.

George---don't even say it.

Aren't there any good actors we could afford?

Dustin?  
I said, could we afford him.  
But yes, ask. He's seventy-six. Does he have the energy?  
\--------

He asked if he could wear a long white robe and do it in drag.  
No.

 

Hugh Grant  
Yes, so could see him! He's not going to get in any hooker trouble again, is he?  


Jim Carrey?  
Hmmm. Is he allowed to talk through his bu-  
DON'T say it.

 

Tom Hanks?  
Kevin Costner?  
Leo?--oh, yeah, the Tiger thing.

Are you on that Google site again? I thought I fired you!


End file.
